As the Tunnel Echo's....

Haven't written in a while.
I suppose i lost my inspiration to preach to an audience of one?
Almost as a pastor with no congregation.
Not to put myself up to such a high degree as a pastor would be...
Also Not saying that a pastor is deserving of that high degree....
Just saying that.... fuck it.

I started this site because i wanted to jehdkljwhfdl;hwef
well...
im not sure what i wanted to do.
I guess, i feel as though i have knowledge that deserves to be shared.
Excuse me while i toot my own horn.

But i have realized that, much to my dismay, the people that need the most help are the ones who will never listen.
I knew from a very young age that Stupidity was an amazing gift.
A gift given by evolution to filter the pointless people out of my way.
I see my friends strutting, abusing, and destroying their own futures.
THAT obervation is my gift.
My ability to see what NOT to do is what seperates me from the world.


To rewind, i think the reason i got this site was simply for ME.
A place to reassure myself that my head is straight.
So ya know what?
Don't read this.
Don't read my words, and dont EVER listen to what i have to say.
It's Mine and you can't have it.

Moving on.

I sit and glance at old friends pass by.
[Keep in mind that "old friends" is usually code for "That fucker that screwed me over"]
These people live in shit.
Complete shit.
And again, to keep in the fabulous patterns that humanity so often presentes to us, they do nothing to better their situations.
Continuous living, not doing a single thing to improve the slop they call a life.
Seriously though. Im over it. i swear.

I'm in my office.
It's fucking freezing.
I'm not turning the heat on because i dont want to run up my power bill.
Just want you to know that, as you read this [and by you, i mean no one. Unless you disreguarded my wishes earlier. ...sneaky fucker], i am freezing my tits off and you are nice and comfortable in your little chair. stop reading and bring me some tea, for fucks sake.

It's strange how, over the past cluster of months, everything i had kind of dissolved, and everything i wanted started to appear.

One of my favorite quotes says "If i never have anything, i'll never have to lose anything. Then again, if i never have anything worth losing i guess i've lost everything."

...Just wanted to throw that out there. Take it as you will.
Taste it for a bit. If it ever digests, call me.

I'm out.
<3

No Day But Today?

So I've been listening to the RENT soundtrack alot as of late.

And through every chorus, every lyric, every vamp, i find myself realizing and remembering the many many things that brought me to the point i am at today.


Now many of you may stop and laugh thinking, "Dude. Its a fucking Musical. It's can't be that big of a deal..."

Well, let's take it back a ways and find out......


Jonathan Larson was one of the most intense writers i have ever known of....

He had such a vision to share his stories and life experiences, and he decided to put them into music on stage. The man has truly changed my life.



RENT centers around a group of people that, in some way or another, become very close, very quickly, though a strange string of events. Through One year, they experience amazing things, hard times, death, and re-connection.

It is something that has been with me for many many years, and the irony in that blows my mind.

People have often told me "Your friendships are like people coming in and out of an elevator. Just coming and going very quickly...."



And yet, RENT, a story of stong friendships, has been with me longer than most of my friends have, and, most likely, longer than they will be as well.

And, Like Roger, even when i have had the best, clost friends anyone could ask for, i've still been the guy sitting alone, looking for something more. Good Thing? Bad Thing? I don't think its either. It's Just Me. Take it as you will.

I find people taking things like that about me as being an "asshole", or they think things "fall on deaf ears", or they immediatly assume i'm being malicious, hurtful, or whatever. But the truth is, i'm not any of those things. I'm just looking for something more. And contrary to what you may think, people throwing away friendships for reasons they are completely wrong about, really does hurt.



"Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memories? When single frames from one magic night Forever flicker in close up on the 3-D Imax of my mind."



I have had the pleasure of having many Marks, Maureens, A couple Angel's, A wonderful Collins, and my one Mimi. Still have a couple of them. And to the ones who are gone, believe it or not, i truly miss you, and i thank you for being a part of shaping who i am, and you are always in my heart.

Whether or not i have a friend for 3 weeks or 3 years, i know the importance of every second of that friendship, even if you don't. Our Bonds are strong.





Keep the ones close to you as close as you can. Physically or in memory.

There really is, No Day But Today.




<3

What the hell are we doing here?

Lost in a daze, Can't find what i need.

These people, all they want is to watch you bleed.

I want a life that's beyond me.

Brinking immortality.

The strangest thing is that i am constantly asking myself

"What the fuck am i doing?"

We all, at some point, reach a moment of realization.

An epiphany, of sorts, where we have to stop and make the choice that it's time to change; time to grow up.

It doesn't matter how old you are.

It could take years.

I've been at that point for about 7 months now.

The long process of rediscovering and reinventing yourself to be the person you should be, with an equal balance of who you want to be.

At times, it almost seems like a strange out-of-body experience.

We get so comfortable having no clue who the fuck we are.

And here's me.

Stuck in the middle of a whole bunch of people who are settling instead of trying to better themselves.

Mabye it's selfish of me, but at the same time, it is simply me wanting the best for people.

Chris says it best:

"We all want to fuck ourselves and rape the world."

You gotta live for you.

Find the balance.

<3

Um.... Hello.

I have so little and so much to say...
It's like, i want to share all of my insights to a deaf audience.
That way, i get everything off my chest, and at the same time, don't have to worry about some douche misinterpreting my every move...

I'm Young.
21 to be exact.
But There is one thing you should know....
My reality is VERY real.
I don't fuck around. i know what's up, and it kills me that so many have no idea what the hell is going on in the world.

I live in Las Vegas.
A city that strives for art but has done.
A city that lives off of the wallets and emotions of the unexpecting.
A cesspool, to say the least.
Wanna come here?
Don't.

A dear friend of mine said "Figuring things out for ourselves is one of the only freedoms we have left. Use that freedom." [Socks]
I completely agree with that.
But for those of you that don't know how to do that, well, that's why i'm here.
What do you want to know?
Religion?
Politics?
Life?
Love?

Try me.
I'll do what i can.

I can't promise that you will like me.
I can't promise you will agree with me.
But i promise you i'm honest.

I'm Andy.
Welcome to my world.